


Kiss The Boy

by halseam (orphan_account)



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: (like raven in the that’s so raven opening), Falling In Love, M/M, Pining, Songfic, ha that’s gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 07:57:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14911443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/halseam
Summary: If you wanna kiss the boy,Then you better kiss the boy right now.





	Kiss The Boy

It starts with Connor’s chest feeling tight yet airy at the same time whenever Evan locks eyes with him.  
Connor’s stomach doing somersaults every time Evan smiles at him like that.  
He’s not sure if he likes it or not. Either way, he’s scared of it. He scared of it getting in the way of how close they’ve gotten, how ‘chill’ they are together. Problem is, he doesn’t know what _it_ is. He doesn’t know what he’s scared of getting between himself and Evan. 

And Connor is suddenly scared of even looking in Evan’s direction. Why? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why he suddenly doesn’t like being around Evan. Why he chokes on air when Evan looks at him in that way. Why he stays up at night over analyzing his emotions that Evan is unknowingly messing with.  
And people talk. People talk and gossip and whisper and notice things people don’t notice about themselves.  
And it suddenly hits Connor. He’s read it time and time again in books. Watched it time and time again in movies and TV shows. Seen it time and time again in couples at school. He’s in love with Evan.  
And he wants to tell Evan. He just freezes up every time the time is perfect or he summons up the right amount of courage. 

They’re sitting on a bench.  
They’re sharing an ice cream because Evan insisted after Connor accidentally dropped his.  
Evan is eating it in slow spoonfuls, meanwhile Connor has barely touched it. He looks at Evan and notices a bit of melted ice cream on the side of his mouth.  
It’s perfect. Connor leans in and kisses it away, Evan begins blushing a deep red, they admit their love for each other, and they go on to have a long happy life together.  
But Connor can’t bring himself to. He really wants to kiss Evan. Right now.  
He could settle for telling Evan how he feels. What with not being able to bring himself to kiss him and all.  
But Connor is scared of saying it. He know he shouldn’t be afraid of it. He should be able to say it out loud, he feels he deserves to. He should be able to act upon it out loud.  
He could settle for kissing Evan right now. What with not being able to bring himself to tell him and all.  
And then the ice cream is gone and they’re on their way back to Evan’s house. 

Zoe says love takes time.  
She’s right. He should just wait and see what happens.  
So he takes Evan to a romantic move. Two hours is enough time to wait, right?  
It feels like they’re the only two in the entire theatre, despite every taken seat filled with middle aged white women.  
But at the moment, it feels like they’re the movie. It’s some cheesy teen pining movie filled with useless background characters and terrible acting. It’s still their movie, though, so he can’t judge.  
He gets the sudden urge to pull Evan close and kiss him as hard as he can as the characters on screen do so. But as the woman pulls away and runs, Connor’s stomach drops.  
The woman doesn’t trust that man anymore.  
Maybe if Connor were to admit his love to Evan, Evan would take all the trust built up between them and throw it away out the window never to be seen again.  
Love and trust are overrated anyway. He shouldn’t be worrying about it. He shouldn’t be ‘chasing’ it, as Zoe would say.  
But he just can’t stop going crazy over this.

And Connor is suddenly scared of even looking in Evan’s direction again. Why? He knows exactly why. He knows why he suddenly doesn’t like being around Evan. Why he chokes on air when Evan looks at him in that way. Why he stays up at night over analyzing his emotions that Evan is unknowingly messing with.  
And people talk. People talk and gossip and whisper and notice things people don’t notice about themselves.  
And it suddenly hits Connor. He’s read it time and time again in books. Watched it time and time again in movies and TV shows. Seen it time and time again in couples at school. It’s time to confess he loves Evan. 

They’re laying on Connors roof staring up at the stars, pointing out any constellations they see and occasionally looking over to the other.  
Connor turns his head to see Evan staring right back at him. He feels himself blush and is completely still as the pair just lay and stare at the other. And then he begins leaning in.  
And then Evan begins leaning in.  
And then their lips meet and it’s the greatest thing Connor has ever experienced. His brain comes to a complete stop for those five seconds he kisses Evan and Evan kisses back and Evan’s lips are so soft and his breath is warm and it’s… 

“I don’t wanna keep it a secret anymore,” Connor whispers, his forehead against Evan’s, “I’ve been fucking terrified of everything these last few weeks. Of… realizing I’m in love; realizing I’m in love with you; figuring out how I was going to tell you,”  
Evan laughs just a bit. “Me too. Except, it’s been longer than a few weeks,”  
“Oh?”  
“Months. With you. I’ve known I’m in love you for two months or so. Terrified of the same things. But, also, terrified of the thought that I could fall in love with another boy,”  
“Well here you are,”  
“Well here I am,”  
They lay and bask in each other’s presence for a minute or so. And then Connor takes a deep breath and continues with:  
“I just realised… I don’t want to hide this, whatever the fuck _this_ is. I guess you could call it my heart? I don’t want to, I feel like I don’t have to either,”  
Evan nods. “Me too,”  
Connor smiles at Evan warmly as he presses a short kiss to his nose.  
And they slowly fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this instead of prewriting more chapters for my multi chapter fic oof  
>  also i hate this ending but ???????


End file.
